WOW! Its been a while since I posted- bet you thought I would never be back huh?
It’s been a roller coaster ride for the past few months since I quit my job, with enough experiences to post about for a while. I plan on getting back into the swing of things now that things are slowing down.
Over the last five months I quit my job, relocated both myself and my fiancée, got my house ready to sell and put it up on the market and have started another leisurely job search.

So what is the most important thing I have learned through all of this? BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND TRUST YOU CAN MAKE ANYTHING HAPPEN!.

If you have a miserable job, know that you can take your life in a whole new direction and start down that road today. Unemployment the current economy and life in general can get pretty scary, but its better than living a miserable life!

More on everything to come!
Cheers,
TheTaoOfEric

Posted on Tuesday 28 of October, 2008 [19:59:02 UTC]

I read a great post over at Zen Habits this morning. It really got me thinking about many of the thoughts and feelings I have had over the last couple of years since I started my current job. I have to admit that even though I truly feel that quitting my job- which Ill be doing on Monday- is the right thing, that I still have more than a bit of anxiety about it. I agree with Leo’s post that much of life is what you make of it. How you approach the day, the choices you make about your reality is what creates it.

That being said, there is also something to be said for listening to your inner voice when it is screaming out DON'T DO THIS! Had I listened to many of those thoughts I probably would not be in the situation I am currently in. I remember having to really struggle with the decision about taking my job. My soon to be boss was really pressuring me for an instant response to my acceptance of the position. I can remember from the beginning thinking thoughts like “wow she is being pretty bitchy, if this is what I can expect from her I don't want this job.” I decided to take the job anyway after she met my request for more vacation time. The next vivid memory was the first time I sat down in my chair on my first day. I remember my mind screaming wildly, THIS IS NOT MY CHAIR!!! I felt out of place and that I had made the wrong decision. I wrote it off as new job jitters, but it's been down hill since then. I've tried my best to make this situation into something it's not, to no avail.

The last year especially has been one most difficult I can remember in my life. I saw Garden State for he first time almost a year ago exactly. I really felt the sense of being lost in yourself from that movie and from that point on I plunged into a deep depression that I feel I am only now starting to creep out from. For the last year I have been self-medicating my self with anything from music, noise in my mind, alcohol, and unfortunately after my back injury, pain pills. All to avoid one simple thing: my job had made me so miserable that I have completely lost control of most of my life.
I watched Garden State again last night and found irony in the fact that while I used the movie as a launching point for major depression last year, the movie is actually about finding yourself and breaking free of self medication rather than dealing with life. Maybe it's sparked my downward spiral last year because I felt like I couldn’t break free, that I was trapped and that there was only depression to sink into…

I'm struggling with acceptance of all this though. I feel afraid for the future, afraid of what my life will be like without the barking negative voice of my boss, and the constant struggles I have in my mind of arguing with her and standing up for myself.
But I also know it will all work out.
I am about to take control
There may be consequences to it
But I would rather face them and live
Than live in a gray depressed haze

Good luck exploring the infinite abyss


TheTaoOfEric

Posted on Friday 04 of April, 2008 [12:49:56 UTC]

The time grows short until I hand in my resignation letter and step into my first mini retirement. As my readers know it's been a long time coming. I've been pretty miserable due to a bad work situation slowly getting worse compounded by personal issues. It's been a rough year. I realized about eight months ago that change was due, but it's taken me some time to get things in order, get myself personally ready for the change, and to get my finances together enough to cover the break from work I am getting ready for.

So what is my plan and what all have I done you ask?

First the plan. I've been working about six years since I graduated from college. It's had its ups and downs, but one thing is for certain- I haven’t gotten much fulfillment out of my work. I've done my best to play the good employee role, but at the end of the day it's never my professional work that gives me any satisfaction in my life, it’s my personal relationships and my hobbies. So for the next few months I plan on taking some time off, clearing the clutter from my life that the 9-5 lifestyle has encumbered me with, and enjoy some much overdue life detox.
I will still be busy no doubt though. I have no plans on spending the next few months sitting on my couch smoking a J. Quite the contrary in fact. I need to get my house ready to sell- a major undertaking in and of itself- I need to move once I figure out where ill be moving to, enjoying my hobbies, and yes doing some relaxing in the sun.

So what all have I done to get here?
Finances first! I worked hard to save as much money as I could for the last year or so. I am fortunate enough to have saved at least 6months in expenses. You should to before you take something like this on. Even better is to pay off all of your credit card debt. Go into this knowing exactly what liabilities you have, minimize them as much as possible, and think ahead.
Don't use this as an excuse to be miserable though. If you need to find another job get out there and make the change. I've stayed in a bad situation for longer than I should have in order to take a extended break. Simple cause and effect, but it's been tough.

Go to the Doctor: get a full checkup before you do all of this! Especially if you will be off insurance for a while. if you have any preexisting health conditions carefully consider if you can be off of insurance, get a few extra refills of any medicines you take.

Get your car checked up: you will be doing some driving now that you have free time., make sure that you get a heath check on your car too. You don't want to get started on your retirement and find out you have to replace the transmition.

Get your resume and references together :depending on how long of a break you intend to take, having these two things ready to go will help you take on new opportunities when you find them.

Get organized: spend some time getting your papaerwork, junk piles, and life in order. You'll have plenty of time to do this once you quit, but taking a first crack at it helps clear the mind of clutter so that you are moving forward in a organized fashion.

Close accounts: don't watch much TV? Have a envelope from Netflix on your TV from two months ago? Close all of these accounts down. One they suck money from you that you will probably need and two they are just more clutter in your life.

I'm sure ill think of more as well as some I wish I did after the fact. Stay tuned to see how it all goes.
TheTaoOfEric

Posted on Tuesday 01 of April, 2008 [19:56:03 UTC]

I'm Back!


Things have been so jumbled lately for me. Many of my projects have slipped including my blogging, but I plan on turning that around very soon.

As I have posted about in the past, my job situation has been pretty tough since I started about a year ago. I'm not trying to claim that I've been a model employee, but many of my issues have resulted from having a egomaniac boss who never bothered to train me when I started. As a result, I've demonstrated a key aspect of career advancement (or hindrance in my case) recently- I have gotten to the point that I can't stand even talking to my boss, which in turn leads her to believe I'm not doing anything, which in turn has resulted in getting my worst performance review ratings of my professional career. In the 20months or so since I started I have progressively whittled myself down to the point of getting nearly fired. It's time to change my path…

I've posted about my ideas of mini-retirement, lifestyle design, and frustrations about careers. Well, it's time to take my own advice. I feel like I'm up on the high dive like I was when I was a kid. There's no going back at this point- any possibility of salvaging my job have ended, my girlfriend has taken a job three states away and I miss her greatly, most of my friends have moved away and are busy with their own lives. Probably most importantly- I'm completely burnt out by life.

So what am I going to do? In the next few weeks I'm going to hand in my letter of resignation. After that I will be getting my house ready to sell, take a mini-retirement and see what happens from there. Guess what? I'm going to blog about it all!

I plan on many changes to my style and this site, I many even switch to a different blogging platform. We will see. This layout is fine for right now though. Most important to me is to get to it and to stop feeling trapped by life- it's time to start living.

Posted on Wednesday 19 of March, 2008 [12:22:07 UTC]

I've been a bit lax in my posts lately. It's partly due to a general funk I have been in and partly due to not seeing anything particularly exciting to post about. I am still working planning out vacations, the holidays, a mini retirement for next year, and a possible relocation. On the plus side I have been slowly incorporating more and more positive things in to my life again: I dug out my guitar and put it in an area that reminds me to play it, I have a digital camera now and am finally taking more pictures, and my fish tanks are doing pretty good. My pace isn’t quite what I hoped it would be, but I'm slowly chipping away at projects and problems. In the process I've come up with some ideas I thought I would share with the world. No overarching theme here, but useful tidbits…

Travel Planning:
With all of the things going on these days for me, I was really bad about planning for the holidays and my vacation. Not that I'm the best at planning vacations to begin with, but usually I don't wait until mid November to book for December…

• Tip one:is the obvious, don't wait as long as I did! I found that by waiting as long as I did, prices were higher than I would have expected and there were very few direct flights. In fact, I will be jumping many flight connections to get to where I want to go this season.
• Tip Two:Know you need a vacation but don't know where to go? Try a cruise! I always figured that cruises were for old farts, but a few years ago when I was trying to plan a vacation a travel agent recommended one. I figured worst-case scenario I would be sitting in the warm sun reading a book with a frosty beverage to accompany me. I was wrong! It was a great time and has become a yearly tradition for me. If you can book at other times than the weeks of xmas and new years I highly recommend it. You can find great deals on the Royal Caribbean website. From what I hear, stay away from carnival-it's like a floating cheap motel, the Disney boats are loaded with kids, and the Holland America loaded with retirees. I have always sailed Royal without problems. I also hear celebrity and princess cruises are good ways to go also.
• Tip Three: Need help with planning your trip? I was getting pretty overwhelmed with options at one point and was feeling a bit stuck. My dad recommended calling AAA travel (I'm a member and recommend becoming one to everyone as well) and it was a great experience. The agent was extremely helpful and I didn’t feel any pressure to buy since I was already a member of AAA (many travel agents are understandably a bit more pushy about getting you to buy).

Some thoughts on Internet usage
I've been debating about what to do about my Internet connection at home for a while. As I have posted about recently, I have started to notice that trolling the Internet can suck out huge amounts of time and it's expensive to have. I have been getting a discount from Commie-cast for the last 6mo or so since I asked for any specials they would offer me to remain a customer (something you should do regularly), but it's about to expire. I plan on calling them up to see if they will continue it, but if not I may just cancel. If I can find a cheap laptop that I can pick up WiFi on I think I could just go with that. Overall, I think it would pay for itself very quickly- at over $50 a month for cable modem, if I found a laptop for ~300 or so (I get a 10% discount from circuit city for being a AAA member as well), it will pay for itself in less than 6mo! WiFi is so common these days; it seems like a good way to go. I know my local library offers it.

Other random things:

• Use up your change:I have a huge pile of change that has been accumulating for years. I have better things to do than roll it and I wont pay the ~10% coin star fee. I heard today however that the fee is waived if you take your money in the form of a gift card! One more way for me to get my laptop cheap-use my AAA discount, pay for it from my change pile… sounds like a winner to me!

• Switch to online bill paying: I put this one off for a while. It was always one of those things that I thought I would do “next month” and never got around to. My bank sent out a letter offering a gas card if you switched, so it seemed like a good time. I will never go back to paper- the cost of stamps alone makes it worth it, but it is SO much easier than paper!

• My Knick Knack Box: I have a ton of crap around the house as I'm sure many people do. As I prepare for a possible relocation I have implemented a policy of only moving one box of knick-knacks, mementos and general crap. I have been using a rubber made container for it and so far it's been good. It really forces you to prioritize the important stuff and toss the rest that you don't need.

TheTaoOfEric

Posted on Tuesday 04 of December, 2007 [01:40:26 UTC]

It's a gray day here in the mid Atlantic. Fall has finally set in, it's cool almost cold out, and the trees are glowing beautiful shades or red and orange. On my walk at lunch today the air felt almost padded, as if were sucking in sound. Everything felt crisp.
It's a nice feeling: calm, quiet, and drowsy. It would be a good afternoon to curl up on the couch under a thick blanket.

It's a good change of pace for how I have felt for the past few months. Ever since my girlfriend accepted a job a few states away I have felt like a chicken running around without a head. I've had no clear direction, but have been going non-stop to get there. I think I burnt out a bit last week. I realized that I couldn’t keep going on like this. Like I am trying to grasp at sand, squeezing harder and harder, and wondering why more was running through my fingers. I've started to step back a bit. Started to accept that this wave that I am riding in my life will hold me down until it's ready to let me go. It seems to be a natural ebb and flow that I fall into with my life.

Interestingly I came across two articles today that rang closely to what I have been feeling: that I need to enjoy my life and the moment more, stop worrying about every minute detail, and let the experience of the next year or so happen as it was meant to. The first article is from one of my favorite blogs: Zen Habits. This post is about making today the best you’ve ever had. Of particular interest to me are the points of doing less and getting more out of them. In the past few months I have tried to tackle project after project and feel like I have gotten pretty much none of them completed. This week I changed that. I focused on 1 main task I wanted to complete and made sure that I made time for ongoing things like the gym.

A post over at Timothy Ferris’ blog about Letting bad things happen also caught my eye today. Just as above. It's about focusing your mind on the important things and not worrying about the rest. I like Ferris’ writing style. It's kind of clean and not full of crap. I especially like this thought ”Time without attention is worthless, so value attention over time”. I've have had an attention span of a gnat lately. It needs to change as well. In fact last night as I was trying to wrap up my one task for the week I was struggling with the final details. I started to get frustrated and upset. I was able to calm down and let the project move forward, as if I was a bystander and not the initiator. It became fun and by the end I was bummed that it was done.

I think all of this is a part of the direction I am heading. I am making plans to take a mini-retirement and take a few months off in the spring/summer. It's daunting in some respects, but the hardest part will be slowing down. If all goes well I will finally get a large chunk of time to myself. The question is where will my attention be?

TheTaoOfEric

Posted on Monday 12 of November, 2007 [22:22:43 UTC]

I've had a jumble of thoughts so far today…
As I've been posting about recently, I've been pushed to the limit of what I consider to be a good work environment and in fact I have been unhappy with how my career had been progressing for about 3 years now. That’s bad! It seems obvious, but I need to change…

As I got ready for work this morning I was trying to enjoy the cool rainy morning we are having here on the east coast, but negative thoughts started to creep in. I realized for the first time in a while that I was actually creating them because I have gotten so used to their presence that without them I am uncomfortable! I have been struggling with life and depression for so long now that I don't really know what to do without it. I have to realize that my life IS within my control. I am not trapped. I can make any change I want to better myself. Most of all, there is nothing wrong with me! I have to stop creating strife in my life and seek peace. It's not always an easy thing to do, but I have most definitely gotten rusty at appreciating what I have in my life and focusing on the good.

It is really amazing how often we keep our minds cluttered. One example that has been proven to me time and time again is how I use the Internet. It has become mindless channel surfing for me most of the time. Ironically, when I go on a long vacation, I usually expect the world to have changed in those 7 days or so. I expect to come home to thousands of personal emails, missed huge events in the threads I post in, and great ideas in the blogs I read. Amazingly it is never true. I can usually catch up and breeze through a weeks “internet events” in about 20 minutes a week… this has been proven to me yet again as I somewhat painfully wean myself off of using the internet for personal things while at work. Cruising for a few minutes in the morning, lunch, and evening is more than enough to stay “current” and has in fact proven to me that I am yet again trying to find ways to distract myself from my life…

Another interesting connection that I was reminded about today is the sapphire wharf hypothesis. As I have posted about, this hypothesis basically states that the language you use dictates the existence you have. It makes me wonder if I need to be using more positive and goal driven words in my language. I find that lately I say things like “today I have to…” or “I'm behind on…” instead of things like “my goal for today is…” or “I am glad to have accomplished…” I am going to start to examine what I say and what I am doing more and more. Since it's nearing the end of the year it will be time for me to step back for some introspection about how this year has shaped up and to plan for next year. I think I really need to set better goals for the coming year and have a better plan to achieve them than I did this year.


So with all that what are today’s take home points?
•There is nothing wrong with you! stop and take some time to look at the things that you toil with mentally everyday. Is it actually possible you just don't need to be worrying about them?

•Take a minute to evaluate your email/internet habits: is it possible you are mindlessly surfing the net and wasting your valuable time?

•Take some time to evaluate the language you use: is it possible if you used more words like great, awesome, thankful, happy and excited that you might start to feel them?

Cheers,

TheTaoOfEric

Posted on Wednesday 07 of November, 2007 [02:04:54 UTC]

After feeling like I hit a wall on Friday I spent a lot of this weekend anxious and unnerved. Maybe it's all in my head, maybe not. I simply don't know. What I do know is that I cannot keep going on like this. My girlfriend and I had a lot of deep conversations this weekend discussing what I should be doing.

I haven’t been happy with my job for about a year now. In fact on Friday afternoon I found an old journal entry from a year ago talking about how miserable I was. It shocked me… Why? For money? Is really worth it? Hell no! There has been a ton of factors though- I hoped things would get better, I still felt like I had many things I could learn from the position, I didn’t want to go through the stress of changing a job again, I was waiting for my girlfriend to make some career decisions herself and to see if we would be moving as a result. A ton of reasons and one really big one- I am afraid of the unknown. I think we all are, but somehow I have closed myself down to this existence. It has to stop soon…

I think I was able to keep it all together in the past while my girlfriend and dog were living with me. It was great to come home to them… now that I only see them on the weekends I am finding it harder and harder to deal with my lot in life as it stands. I have to get out… so this weekend was spent discussing possible options with the GF about how I could quit. I have posted before taking time off between jobs, going right into the next one, etc, but we spent a fair amount of time exploring the straight up quitting and taking time off from working option. I realized that it is what I really want to do. I feel burnt out by life and I am still pretty young with minimal responsibilities.

It felt really good to have the conversations we did and to get that much support from her. It is a real testament to how well we work together. So what's the plan?
The current plan is to do my best to get through the next two months. I will be taking a few vacations and with the holidays right around the corner I don't want to be looking for a job. When we come back from vacation I plan on quitting my job. I don't know if it will all work out, but that is the current plan… now it's on to working on minimizing as much as possible for the upcoming change…

In the mean time am trying to implement the following ideas for dealing with the next few months. I think these are helpful ideas for anyone in a job they hate though.

• Focus on the good: It seems tough sometimes, but remembering that there are jobs out there worse than yours is always good! Do you like the coffee you get at work? focus on it and savor it. It all you do is see the bad it will eat you alive. If all there is bad, then you need to quit today!
• Minimize contact with bad coworkers: As in my post of dealing with stupid people, try to minimize your contact with those that add misery to your job situation. It can be hard if that person is your boss though, but if you are planning on quitting anyway, keep your contact to a minimum.

• Do something that empowers you: Part of the problem with work is that your boss has some control over you and your life. After a while that control can start to feel like an iron grip. Do something everyday to get the power back. Work on your resume, call your references, post your resume on monster and apply for jobs. If you are staying in your position, do things that put responsibility back on those who would take it away. Have a boss that won’t train you properly? Request training formally in an email and start a folder of conversations and emails that you document between you and them.

• Take a sick day: You are sick- sick of work! Play hooky and sit on the couch and each bon-bons all day. Go take a walk in the park—I plan on trying this out soon!

• Take a long walk at lunch: I fond getting out pf the office really clears my head. Take a 10 minute walk around the building and get some fresh air and perspective!

• Find someone you can trust and confide in them: a coworker who you can trust and can sympathize would be great, but if not just a good shoulder to understand will help!

Best of luck with your case of the Mondays!

TheTaoOfEric

Posted on Tuesday 06 of November, 2007 [01:27:19 UTC]

I received an email from my boss today reminding me of the company’s email and Internet policies. Supposedly, my acknowledgment sheet of the policies was missing from my file in HR.

I suppose I could take it at face value and assume that for whatever reason, the head of HR (who is new) was just going through files and routinely checking into stuff. I could also choose to assume the possibility that my boss has initiated monitoring of my account and when HR went to approve it they noticed the sheet wasn’t there. It could also be a “friendly nudge” from my boss to serve as a warning. Maybe I’m being paranoid, maybe not.

It wasn’t how I would like to start my day. Regardless though I am at my wits end. I feel truly burnt out by the stress I am under at this job. Most of it is due to the poor guidance given to me by my boss. Not that I don't have a share in the responsibility, I certainly do, but I don't feel like I have been trained on how to properly do my job, I don't feel like I am kept in the loop of what is going on, and I don't feel like my goals and objectives are properly communicated to me. It's a bad situation and it might be getting worse. I feel constant anxiety at work these days and I know it's time for a change…

I have seen some interesting articles lately about jobs, so I thought I would do a job roundup with some cool reading:

• Some interesting things to do at a boring job
• Some great advice about being prepared for loosing your boring job
• Why being ultra productive can destroy fulfillment
• Ways to polish up your online job hunting presence

I'm not really sure how all this will pan out. There are so many variables in my life that are in flux these days. I feel like I have nothing to root me in reality anymore. Part of me has already checked out and is in survival mode, just living day to day. Part of me is learning to let go of my worries. There is very little that I can do about most of this right now except try and be ready to move and make changes. I was about to write that I hope things return to normal soon, but then again I hope they don't… I don't know where I am going these days. That causes me anxiety, but it's better than where I have been lately. It's time for change and it seems to be coming this way like it or not…

TheTaoOfEric

Posted on Tuesday 06 of November, 2007 [01:24:24 UTC]

I read a great post over at consumerism commentary this morning and it triggered some interesting thoughts for me.

The post is about two subjects. The first is defining what retirement is today in a world where we are moving faster and faster and enjoying life less and less. The second is about retiring to cool places once you decide to “retire”.

While I found the whole post a great read, the first part interested me in particular. The big question is, “why am I saving for retirement when I don't really like what traditional retirement entails?” I think people are realizing that we are living longer and less fulfilling lives. Many people are getting fed up with it. I know that I am as well. I don't want to save and scrimp so that I can go sit in Denny’s at 6am in my retirement. For me “retirement” has more to do with no longer working for “the man” and having enough financial security that I can do things that interest me, not pretend to care about what my boss is worked up about on a given day.

It's a hard hurdle to over come though when most people still look to the old system for security. I know my parents do. They still want me to have a good job and worry when I mention ideas like taking 3months off between jobs for myself. In fact, they strongly appose such ideas. In a recent visit with my parents my mom mentioned her mantra of “they can bury me off of my desk” that she believes will prevent any major tragedies such as going with out health care could unfurl upon her. I will be the first to admit not having adequate health care is scary, especially at my parent’s age, but that being said they will die some day. So will I. So will you and everyone else you know. It is the only inevitability of life. You can be sad about that, afraid, you can spend your life burying your head in a religion trying to escape it's reality, but it will happen none the less.

In the face of that fact most people crumble. They fall back on things that will comfort them in the face of the unknown. You can do that if you like, but I believe I can do better. Accepting it as fact that you will die and not trying to prevent that inevitability but embracing it and taking joy in the time you do have is the key to unlocking the secret of life.

I'm not saying that I'm completely there yet. I still grasp at what to fill my life with in the absence of ducking my head in the sand. It's also hard for me to think that my actions will disappoint my parents. I love them and want to make them proud, but I also have to do what is best for me. The odd thing is that I'm still learning what that is….
I don't know what the future holds (except for one final event), but I do know that I am in transition now between that world and the fluid world of the truth. It's can be difficult to let go, but I believe that is truly what “retirement” is about. Retiring your beliefs that you can control the world around you.

May the world of the real find you soon

TheTaoOfEric

Posted on Thursday 01 of November, 2007 [19:18:59 UTC]